A Bit of Help for Valentine’s Day

Valentine’s Day, or as it is more popularly known “Singles Awareness Day,” is just around the corner. For those of us suffering from the ailment known as singlehood, it is popular to celebrate with a carton of ice cream and Ryan Gosling as he appears in The Notebook. Among girls, that is, and I can only speak for my own gender. Anyway, I was planning my party this year when I realized ice cream is expensive. So, I switched to a more proactive approach: I asked around for a few pickup lines with guaranteed results. (Please note: these results are not necessarily always positive.) Here are some of the responses I gathered:

“You must be a camera because I smile whenever I look at you.”Jill Suratt, junior  

“I know why Solomon had 700 wives: he never met you.” Eric Fromm, senior

“Are you a parking ticket? Because you have fine written all over you.” Brandon McGinnis, senior

“I lost my number. Can I have yours?” Joe Laurendeau, sophomore

“Are you familiar with Freud? Because you remind me of my mom.” Dr. Nani Skaggs, professor of psychology

“You must be Google because you have everything I’m searching for.” Lisa Ham, freshman

“Are you a booger? Because I’d pick you.” Amber Dellsite, sophomore

*Notice: the Beacon Bolt is not responsible for any harm, physical or otherwise, which may arise should these lines be used in any ill-advised manner.